Crazed Mama

Ok, I really meant for this blog to be all about DJ, but I need to share this. I think the experiences I've had over the last few months are important to remember if (when) I get pregnant again. And hopefully to remember after I deliver, though that may be a problem if things keep going the way they are going.

I'm losing my mind.

No, really. I'm seriously losing it.

Ok, I have joked about being dazed and confused for most of my life. I am happy to admit that I am a space cadet, happy traveling the universe with narry a care given to my tenuous attachment to reality. But this is getting to be ridiculous.

It started with mild forgetfulness. Almost to the point that I didn't notice. I've always misplaced things and lost track of stuff, so when it gets a little worse I'm not likely to pay all that much attention to it. That is, until someone calls out the fact that I've forgotten something important.

In January, I forgot a shrink appointment I had. Oops. I think I forgot to put it in my calendar. My bad. Then, I started forgetting assignments at work if I didn't write them down IMMEDIATELY. That's not so strange, actually. That's pretty common. But the half life on my assignments was starting to get perilously short. Like forgetting when walking from my boss' office back to my own, when they are across the hall from each other. Uh oh. In Mid-March I was running late for a dentist appointment because I forgot I had it at all. When I called to tell them I was running late, they said I wouldn't make it and to reschedule. OK. No problem.

I made it to Miami and back with hardly an issue. Though I had to be repeatedly reminded to call a couple of close friends. And I did apparently forget to tell Evil (that's what I call him) to pack a set of nice clothes for the baby shower that my mom was throwing me. (Though I still blame him for not ever showing the SLIGHTEST interest in the activities we were going to do and showing up with 57 lbs of clothes/stuff that wasn't entirely activity appropriate.)

But that was March. And with April showers and my 6 month mark came PANDEMONIUM. I forgot a second shrink appointment that again was not in my calendar. I had the foresight to call and ask if we were having it but had already made other plans by the time she got my message. Bugger. I'm working on my baby shower stuff, along with house stuff and I completely lose track of a) how many weeks are in this month, b) how many of them we've already gone through and c) how much time I have in general to get all of our stuff done. Bad signs people.

Last night I'm at my first childbirth class last I say that we are currently in 2001, the 21st century, there's no reason to go through pain without meds. B was so kind as to remind me that we are in 2008. What happened to my 7 years? I mean, in 2001 I was poor, jobless for more of the year than I care to remember and still living in Miami. Now we're in the mid-atlantic, I make good money (thank you, thank you) and we are far from poor, even if we aren't millionaires. I don't get yelled at for going crazy in the dollar section any more because really, we can afford to blow the $5-$15 every once in a while. (I get stuff for the kids there. It's great!)

I got assigned to travel at the end of April (Road Trip! Woohoo!) and so my rescheduled dentist appointment had to move since it happened when I got back. Ok, so I manage to get them to move it up by a week. Note: Dentist Appointment is Apr. 30th. One week before is Apr. 23. Today is Apr. 16. But it is a Wednesday. I know you see where this is going.

I wake up this morning, after getting home late and CRASHING, in a panic. Oh bloody hell, I think. I forgot to get my hard drive and bring the files home so I can work from home and go to my dentist appointment. Curses! I'll just have to go into work in the morning and work from home in the afternoon. I am picking up my things, trying to get out of the house as quickly as possible (and FAILING. I know you're not shocked) and my phone buzzes. I have it on vibrate. Luckily I was looking at it at the time. Oh, it's the Dentist Office. They can move me up to today at noon, can I make it? Sure. Didn't I already make my appointment for today at noon? Huh. no matter.

I go into work and about my business. I inform my boss I'll be going to the dentist and that I forgot all my docs. Oops. I'll take them with me. I barely make it out of the office on time and I put the pedal to the limit of the metal I'm willing to tempt fate with because cops in this town LOVE giving tickets ( and the fines now are BRUTAL). I even manage to navigate a new route to a highway in one of the most confusing sections of town (GW Parkway where it hits 29, 66, 50 and HELL) and cruise control my way to the Dentist Office just in time. They thank me for being able to make it. I pant because I nearly didn't.

The cleaning is routine. Nothing spectacular about my teeth other than my gums are a little madder than usual on account of being pregnant and all. Floss, floss, floss! Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we get out and they set me up with a 6 month appointment. I open my palm pilot and realize the date... and notice the missing appointment. My gods. I nearly took a 40 minute EXCURSION from the center of the city to the western suburbs for an appointment I didn't have until NEXT WEEK. I'm so glad they bumped me up! Lucky for me, they did. At least I remembered the appointment this time!

Please, please, please tell me this ends when I pop! Please tell me there is SANITY, or at least what little remnants I had of sanity to begin with, when this adventure ends!

I read on CNN this may last until the kid hits pre-school. Say it ain't so!