First Taste of Cereal

Well, on Monday I decided I would try feed the baby some cereal. At the 7 pm feeding I tried and it went ok. It was supremely messy and a little difficult. I was hoping he'd take to it like my nephew did. Not so much. According to the box (and the web site that went along with it) I should keep the cereal really runny to get him used to the new texture (and let him play with it. YEAH RIGHT?!?!). I tried the runny cereal part. He wasn't feeling it. On Wednesday, my mother's helper accidentally gave it to me super thick, more like conjealed oatmeal. He liked that consistancy much better. So now I make it nice and thick and he takes it down. Today, second feeding of the morning, he took down all two teaspoons of food that I gave him. He has gotten really good at it in just 5 days (4 really, since I started late on monday). So now I'm wondering if I can feed him some bananas or something since I'm going to be out and about for the next feeding. Hmmm...We'll see.

Sleeping almost all night

So, last night the sleep went pretty well. The evening started out with me running late for the 7pm feeding. It was more like 7:20 pm when I finally got the boob in DJ mouth. After feeding him we went out to a local, hopping fish restaurant. It took us at least 15 minutes to circle the parking lot like vultures looking for a space but we got one right near the front. Then it took them another 20 minutes to seat us. Considering that the walk in wait was probably 2hrs by that point, I suppose we did well.

DJ slept through dinner relatively well. The place was rather loud, and clanging plates tends to make the boy jumpy. The sling they had to hold the child seat worked brilliantly, though, and had enough give to it to allow us to jiggle him back to sleep. We showed him off to the people around us and they oooooh-ed and aaaahhh-ed at him. I'm not surprised any more. I'm just proud. He started out cute, but I keep him well fed and nicely dressed.

He slept all the way home and even passed back out in the swing when we got there. It was LATE when we got home, so I didn't get to my pre-bedtime nap until 10:30 or so. It was rough. So I let him sleep till after 11am. I fed him upstairs with barely enough mental capacity to stand without falling over so it was necessary. It's a good thing B was there to help. Unfortunately, mostly for him, DJ was sneak and pooped on the changing table, mostly missing the new diaper that B had just put around his butt. It's been a long time since he's pooped on the table. I try to wait after each feeding so that he is all done by the time I get him up there. B didn't have the chance. I needed DJ changed before the feeding so we wouldn't get poo on his clothes. Oh well.

After the feeding, he took a while to get down. B was holding him and using the pacifier and couldn't get DJ to sleep. I think it was because B had him cradled so that DJ was looking up at him. Daddy is much more interesting than sleepy time. I tried to feed him again and after my nipple started to cry foul even through the nipple guard, I switched to the pacifier. DJ was out shortly there after.

I woke up at 3, and DJ was sound asleep. At 5 am, he started talking to himself. The scheduling book said he might do that for up to an hour. After 10 minutes he started whining so I stuck the pacifier in his mouth. It fell out a minute later and you could almost see the line of "z's" trailing away from the baby's head. At 6 am we had a 30 minute rough spot where he was wiggling and whining, the pacifier only settling him down somewhat. He would fall asleep and then wake up whining five to 10 minutes later. Then suddenly, we were both asleep.

I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. I was shocked to read it was after 7:30am. I jumped up, thinking crazy thoughts about the baby being dead. I put on my pj pants (as if you need pants in a situation like that), and peeked my head in his room. Just as I looked into the room, he shook his head from side to side, stretched his arms, rubbed his eyes and started to whine a bit. I walked over to the bed, said good morning and smiled at him. He smiled back. It was like, "Ok, the service is here. I can stop fussing now." This is the second morning he's woken up happy. Hopefully we can just get rid of these little rough patches at night.

Scheduling Update: Night Time Sleep Patterns

Well, DJ is halfway through week 12 and according to the book he should have been sleeping through the night by now. Well, I was starting to get worried about that 3:30am - 5am feeding because it didn't look like it was going any where. I thought I was going to have to use the "Baby Snooze Button" (putting the pacifier in his mouth and hope he goes back to sleep) to kill it. Well, last night I woke myself at 4:30 wondering what happened to the baby. I had to check on him repeatedly to make sure that he was ok and wasn't dead or something. Paranoia, I know, but whatever.

So he slept till near 6 am. I had to use the baby snooze button at that point, but that's ok. I had to keep waking up because DJ kept stirring. I look at it as an investment. A little lost sleep today will mean 7 hours of straight sleep this weekend. WOO HOO!!! He even woke up happy and smiling. It's so exciting.

Boy That Fist Is Tasty

DJ has been pretty consistently munching on his right fist for a while now. Now he's starting to get his left fist in there. He'll even grab my hand with his fists to munch on occasionally. He hasn't started to open his hands up or bat at anything in front of him, but he still loves watching his mobile. He also watches television well now, adult programs more than the flash colors of the kids educational stuff. He does like cartoons though.

Also, his belly button has stopped poking out and has now flattened inward. I thought for sure he would have an outty, but it's finally sunk in. I'm happy about that. It's a great deal darker on the inside than the rest of his skin. Mine is the same way.

First Play Date

Well, I've been looking into these mom groups on this group meeting site. I got to meet several other new mom's and swap stories. It was great. All of the babies were young like DJ. They were all relatively mellow and easy to deal with. It was nice to be around other parents. Even anti-social B liked it. The people were really nice, easy going and unassuming. It was a great experience. Poor DJ missed his nap for that period, but he hung in there like a trooper and almost forgot about meal time. Crazy. He seemed to like having the people around, being outdoors (we met at a local park and having lots of stuff to look at. It was a good time all around.

Milestone Activities: fists and looks

Well, just in the last few days I've notice something that I thought was pretty amazing. Now, DJ had been able to put his hands in his mouth pretty well when swaddled, but that's like putting your hands in your mouth in the womb - it's easy when you're movements are restricted. His arms weren't escaping the swaddle sack so they were confined to an area right around his face. I think this may have given him incentive enough to try to do it on his own though. One day on the changing table B asked DJ if his hands tasted good. Low and behold, the baby was munching on his fists. I didn't think much of it at the time because it was a middle of the night changing, and I am pretty sure I was half asleep at the time (I still dose off during middle of the night feedings sometimes).

Now I've noticed he's pretty good at it, particularly during diaper changes. He seems to either bring both hands up simultaneously or uses one hand (the right) to move the other up there, because one is usually on the bottom. I'll have to make a better note of that to really be sure.

He is also able to follow me around the room now. His eyes and head will watch me where ever I go. If we are on our morning walk, I'll move to walk next to the stroller and he will keep staring at me. I tried to move so he could see the scenery but apparently he wasn't interested. He is also following the movement of the mobile hanging on his crib. I haven't watched to see if he's following a particular animal. I'll have to watch for that too.

Scheduling Update: Night Time Sleep Patterns

Well, that went well. First, I dropped the 2 am feeding. DJ seemed to prefer that. He'd wake up around 4:45 (and when I say around I mean pretty darn close to) instead. This usually prevents the 6-7am wake up. That way he perks up for the morning about quarter after seven or 7:30 am. Which is a good time for me. I like that a lot. Plus, if I go to bed by 9, I am only up at midnight and again at around 5 so... I'm getting 4 hrs of sleep at a time sometimes. Wooo hoo! I'd say he's well on his way to sleeping through the night. Lucky me!

If I can keep the last feeding before bed time to 7 or 8pm, then he will usually get up again at 1-2am and again just before 5. That works fine for me. I'm still tired during the feedings though. We got a new clock radio for the baby's room because the CD player on the old one was DYING and he really needs his white noise. I think it's not just comforting but it covers and crazy activity that might be going on outside of his room (walking up and down the stairs, B's electric tooth brush, snoring in the next room, etc.). At first I would play classical music during the feedings. That doesn't work so well for me. I can't do a good job of keeping him awake if I pass out so we are now blasting the classic rock station instead. Good times. I'm also reading him the Dark Tower series and burning through it like MAD. That helps keep me awake as well.

A little personal note: weight loss

Well, I've been feeling a little bummed out about my body. Things definitely have not come back into their previous place. I'm starting to feel pretty grody about the way I look. B doesn't seem to mind though. He's been a trooper. I guess he's more realistic about how things should be going than I am. I miss my skinny body seriously now. I have no clothes and I feel like a cow. So I've recommitted to my weight loss redjamin and have rejoined the group. It feels good to be back on track. The amount of food I'm supposed to eat as a nursing mother is astounding, which is good because I'm SERIOUSLY hungry most of the time. Having a target and a plan makes me feel much more secure about things. I haven't lost any weight yet, but they said I would fluctuate wildly. I feel better mentally though. I feel like I'm back on track and eventually I'll look like my formerly hot self. That's exciting.

First Shots

Today DJ got his first shots. I was shocked that they whipped out five needles to stick him with. One I think he would have recovered from quickly and on his own. He was starting to when the nurse stuck him with the second shot. Oh well. I managed to schedule it so that I was nursing him just before the shots and topped him off right after. And once we calmed the fussiness down and put him in the infant carrier, he sucked on the pacifier for a minute and then slowly drifted off to sleep. He's been sound a sleep for over an hour now. Out cold, as it were. Poor thing. I'd be miserable to. I was miserable just watching it. I hate to see him cry. I'm such a softie. I'm going to end up with spoiled rotten kids.

Speaking of pacifiers, I can't tell you how many people stop and comment on the one I got for him. It's the Gerber NaturalFlex which is supposed to mimic a mom's nipple in the mouth by expanding when sucked on. The interesting part is that it doesn't really have a backing. It's open so you can see through it to the baby's mouth while he's sucking on it. People just LOVE the way that looks. It is pretty cool.

Anyway, DJ is in the 50th percentile for height and weight, thought a little below average for head size. Not that I was minding that when he was born! Ha! I thought he was extra long, but apparently not. Otherwise he's in perfect health. I'm also glad to be back with my original GP. I'd have loved the doctor who leads the team as well but she's brilliant too. She just puts you at ease with her confidence and knowledge. She's super fun as well. She said he was just perfect.

Update on Scheduling: Removing a Feeding

Well, scheduling has been going well. DJ is following along brilliantly. I've got him on the 3 hr routine and we only stray because I'm running late or I'm adjusting for the purpose of putting in an activity like grocery shopping or pedicures. Hooray for pedicures! He's been tough to wake up for the 2-3 am feeding though. Hell, he's tough to rouse ALL night. He's like Braden - it takes an act of the gods to put him to sleep, and another to wake him up once he's fast asleep. It's kind of troublesome.

So mom suggested that I remove one of the feedings at night and see when he wakes up. Here's the plan: I'll feed him around 11pm or midnight and then I'll put him to bed. I won't wake him up until 5 am at the latest. Then we'll see when he wakes up and how he does.

Misadventures in Diaper Changes

When someone warned me that this might happen, I didn't really pay much attention. I mean, DJ has successfully peed on me, B, the changing table, the people in the delivery room, the floor and other stuff I'm sure. Probably peed in the bath by now. Plus he projectile pooed all over my hand and it shot all over the changing table at some ungodly hour of the post dawn early morning. I had to scream for back up being covered in poo. And now this.

We're trying some new diapers. They were hand me downs and barely fit at this point. I thought they were sized like pampers, but they are sized like huggies instead. Oops. So the 1-2 is the first baby size, not the last. Oops. He doesn't like them. I don't either, they don't seem as absorbent. So I have to change more frequently. This is good and bad because it means I will go through the lot of suck diapers faster but have to deal with suck diapers in the first place.

Anyway, I am changing his diaper and trying to wipe some extra sticky stringers off of hus butt, when he pees. This in and of itself is not the new thing. It's that he pees on his own head on account of me holding up his butt. Bummer. All over his face, in his eyes. It's bad. Worse, it seems like he got some in his mouth too, because he's mouthing like he's tasting something. And this after trying to drink the bath water this morning. Bogus.

B says I need to get used to having a boy and the crazy experimentation they tend to do. He doesn't remember any of his, and is thankful for it. Great.

And there was hair

Wait a sec? Is that hair I see? Suddenly, DJ has a hair line again. Granted, he's got the equivalent of dark peach fuzz on his head where he lost the hair, but it's something. I'm so excited!

First Report on Scheduling

I think DJ wants to be on a schedule more than I do. I had always tried to feed him every three hours. But now I'm trying to keep to the same wake up time every day and settle into a pattern of feed time, wake time, sleep time. It's hard to come up with activities that are both good for him and fun for me. I like book time. I try to read to him while I'm breast feeding some of the time because it takes a long time and I'm bored. He doesn't seem to mind. Sometimes I watch TV or play video games. I'm bad, I know. But if you were feeding for 60 minutes instead of 30, you'd try to find stuff to do as well. There's only so much I can stare at him, especially when he starts closing his eyes. I try to keep him awake but, it's seriously hard.

Anyway, the 8 am wake time is going fairly well. I had a bit of trouble for a couple of nights there because I was letting him sleep to his fill at night. Then he'd get up for a 6 am feed, leaving 30 - 45 minutes to sleep before the next feeding. Not so good. So I've got B watching the clock in the early midnight time so that we can keep DJ on a strict 8, 11, 2, 5 schedule. Well, last night after a rough day (visitors then dragging the kid out to the "mall" for an evening walk) I didn't have wake him on schedule, he did it all himself. Damn. I wanted to sleep in a little bit this morning. Fifteen minutes past wake time and he was like, "yo mom, it's hungry in here." Damn.

I really like our morning routines. I take him on a walk around 9 or 9:30, depending on how timely I am with baby breakfast. Either way, I walk for 30 minutes making circles around our neighborhood. If you know me, you know I hate walking. I still do, but I know it's necessary. And I'm loathe to admit I like the morning routine. It's quiet. Everyone's already left for work except the peeps who stay home. There's not a whole lot going on. And even though today was Sunday, I didn't see hide nor hair of the baptist church crowd (there's a baptist church across the street from our development). I just wandered, walking at my own pace, enjoying the fresh air, which is rare to have here.

The only problem is that the baby is getting HOT. Well, he's in a long sleeve shirt and a long sleeve sleep and play body suit. It's kind of warm making. I'm going to try him tomorrow in a short sleeve onesie and pants. See if that helps. I'll need to make a couple of morning walk outfits. I might could get away with those short sleeve one piece short sets we've got now. I think we got them from B's sister.

In anycase, DJ seems to be taking to the schedule really well. Mom thought he'd have trouble adjusting but I don't see that at all. He seems to want the timeliness even when I'm willing to let it slide. The only this is he likes to sleep in a bit. I'm trying not to let him so he gets used to going down in a timely fashion. It seems to be working. The nights are getting easier. B and I seem te be getting into the rhythm and tag teaming well. B is getting a lot more sleep with the new morning routine. DJ hardly has time to make a fuss at 8 am, what with me on the alarm clock. And then he is quiet till 11 for the next feeding, since he usually falls asleep on the walk and then goes right back to sleep when put down after.

Hair Loss

When we went to Dallas for the family reunion, DJ had quite a bit of hair. The little hair he had on top grew in, and the hair on the back of his head grew out. By Sunday of that weekend, the hair on top of his head started to fall out. Well, not all of it. The hair on his soft spot seemed to stay, but around it stuff fell out. I was kind of sad. I really liked his hair. Now the kid is seriously balding. Not only on top, but the sides. We couldn't even rock a comb-over at this point. But that hair on the back of his head stubbornly remains. I don't even think the stuff that normally rubs off is rubbing off. Funky. The kid is just strange.

Scheduling

It's great to have family support. I had no idea what I was doing with this kid. I thought mom would teach me everything I need to know. But really, there just wasn't time, and there's no way for her to impart on me the endless knowledge and research out there. And, ok, I'll admit it - there's a lot of what she said I didn't want to hear. Or I just wasn't ready to hear. isn't that always the way it is? We stubbornly refuse to listen to what mom says. Mea culpa.

So I was flying blind. Thankfully my sister in law brought me a couple of books to help me figure out how to deal with fussyness and sleep time. I've gotten through one and it's already proven invaluable. Swaddling, jiggling, white noise. Techniques I've successfully employed to get and keep DJ asleep. Then we went to the reunion and a cousin gave me more books. The one I'm reading now talks about how putting your infant on a schedule as early as two weeks in will get them sleeping through the night by week 9. Wow... that's a lofty goal. But a good one to have.

There's more to it than just scheduling, but I'm not giving up sleeping DJ in the swing until he's at least 3 months old. Right now, we just need it. Or giving up jiggling him to sleep and co-sleeping (which I try to limit to once a night or in dire circumstances. If I can't see straight and I'm getting up every 15 minutes to deal with fussy anti-sleep and B isn't awake to help with jiggling, usually associated with the 6 am nap time, then he's coming to bed with me. Sorry, that's just how it is. I can't have him crying for 15 minutes at 7am when I need that hour more of sleep.).

So, with that in mind, we are off. Now, I had basically been feeding DJ every 3 hours or on extreme demand anyway. I mean, there were times when he had growth spurts and he would want to feed every other hour during the day. Plus, he was trying to lock in my milk supply. But I was absolutely certain that he was hungry and that nothing short of the boob would cure his ills. I just tried to hang on for dear life. But most of the time it was 3 hrs or bust. What I was doing incorrectly is allowing the schedule to slip if I started a feed late. So say he was supposed to eat at 5, but it took me an hour to bath and redress him (cause he pooped in the clean diaper I just dropped on him). So now it's 6 and I'm feeding him. I'd push the schedule back to 9 and then keep it there. And the whole schedule would slip in definitely. Well, the book says, nope, keep the next feeding at 8, maybe just knock it back by 30 min and work your way back to normal schedule.

DJ has already been showing signs of sleeping more at night. He won't get up in less than 3 hours, or hasn't in a few days. And a couple of times, he's slept for many hours before waking me up to eat. And I've been THANKFUL for those nights. So hopefully it will work out.

So far, he's taking to the official schedule well. And for the first time in my life, I'm happy to exercise first thing in the morning. Granted, first thing is 9am or so, depending on when the feeding finishes and when we get out of the door. I'm walking him around the neighborhood. It's slow going, gods forbid I start to itch and burn, which has already happened once. But it's exercise and we walk for 30 minutes. He needs the air and I need to get my weight loss started. I'm hoping to get some mall walks in as well, maybe once or twice per week. Lofty goals. Before I popped I also wanted to walk in the parks. That hasn't happened yet. Perhaps B and I will get around to that.

Specialized Cries

Something strange happened today. If DJ is hungry, he lets you know it. He belts out a cry that tells everyone in a 50 yard radius that I'm neglecting his need for the boob. And if I don't respond quickly, he gets MAD and starts really crying. It's not quite a scream, I've heard him scream before. It's rare for him to carry on in that manner, but it's happened before. That day that I skipped a meal and he got frightful gas I got a whole evening and night of it. Never doing THAT again. But still, mad crying is still pretty serious.

But something was different today. I needed breakfast and mom said treat meal time like an emergency on a plane: help yourself first and then help those around you. She said you need strength to feed him and if you're hungry you don't have any. So DJ was waiting for me to get my breakfast on. And he was trying to be patient. First, I got the "Hey, it's hungry in here" whine. And then it escalated to a mad, cry that says, "Yo, lady. Didn't you hear me?" Then, he stopped for a moment. Like he had said his piece and was waiting for me to respond. When I didn't, he started over again at the beginning. Mild whine, then full on cry. This pattern repeated several times, since breakfast took a little while to make. I thought it was amazing. Apparently, he's quite secure in the idea that I will respond to his needs at some point. Great!

First Smiles

When my mom was around my house helping out and showing me the ropes, it took a while for me to realize this essential truth: doing baby chores is spending time with an infant. Sorry, mom. Once I was up and around, I wanted to take over everything for the baby. I felt bad asking mom to help with this and do that. I felt like it was burdening her after all she did to help us prepare for the baby. That and I wanted to practice while I still had supervision in case I needed back up and couldn't handle it. She felt, and she told me so, that she was useless and not helpful any more. She felt like I was pushing her aside. That wasn't my intent at all. Only during the last few days of her stay did I realize she WANTED me to let her do the baby chores. So those last few days I let her. I gave her as much as I could and handed the baby over as often as possible.

So, when I got to the family reunion and everyone wanted to hold DJ, I let them. I relinquished. And when Mama (B's mom) wanted to take him in the mornings to help out, I was ecstatic. Baby time for her, sleep time for me. Good deal.

And then something amazing happened yesterday. Now DJ has been grinning when he falls asleep for a while. B and I attributed it to happy dreams, pleasant sleeping, or just something random. But this morning, Mama L (Mama's mama. Ha!) said he smiled at her. Just out of no where he smiled at her. And she was certain it wasn't gas. I believed her. He'd been heading in that direction for a while.

Later that afternoon, we were hanging at a cousin's house, and I handed DJ over right after he'd eaten. And he smiled at our cousin again. She was so excited.

Then, this morning after eating he was just looking up at me and smiled. It was so great. He's so pretty when he smiles. All gums shining and eyes bright. His eyes are really starting to look brown now. I was hoping they'd stay kind of grey looking, but no go. Oh well. His eyes are going to turn out like mine. Which is fine with me, I have purty eyes. I'm so proud of him.

Baby Hair Loss

Technically this is still G posting, but it's faster for me to post through his account than mine.  So, when DJ was born, he hardly had any hair on the top of his head, but had plenty on the back and sides.  He looked like he had male pattern baldness.  It was kind of funny.  As the weeks have gone by, his hair grew all over, on the top and on the sides.  It kind of looked like he had a mullet. Unfortunately that ended today.  At our cousin's house we noticed that he had hair all over his face, including one in his eyeball.  When we looked at his head, he only had a small patch of hair on top left.  The stuff on the sides seems to be staying, but his fuzzy top is falling out.  I'm a little bummed about it but what can you do?  Baby hair will do what it does despite what you want.  So soon we may have a baby that looks like an old man.  Ha. 

My First Airplane Ride

Wow, people have been telling me for a month now, or very nearly, that I'm INSANE to take a newborn who's barely 4 weeks old onto an airplane. Yeah, I know. When we first planned the trip, I thought, like B did, that DJ would show up early. Yeah, not so much. So really, he would have been closer to 6 weeks rather than barely 4. What can you do, really? The best that you can is all.

So, with some trepidation, we made our way to the airport. DJ was up early, looking for a feeding at six am. And then didn't really want to sleep after that. Not shocking really. So, once I got him together, I woke up B and got ready myself. We managed to get out of the house before 8 am, which was our initial plan. The only thing we forgot was the third swaddle sack that I was planning to use on the plane (figuring it would be cold). (Technically, that was B's fault. I reminded him to pick it up and he left it.) Oh well, that's a pretty good record for us.

So we drove to the airport and parked. DJ was half asleep for most of the car ride, though he was a bit fussy right at the beginning. He hates the infant carrier. The side impact head gear bothers him because he can't turn his head from side to side. You know how he likes to look around. Well, we get to the economy lot and I pull him out of the car seat, waking him up, naturally. There's a lot of sun and quite a bit of wind. So I block what wind I can and wrap up the baby. He tolerates it well enough.

We get on the bus and people just coo at him. I hate taking him in public and covering him up because I LOVE the attention. Yeah, they are really just looking at him, and it doesn't matter how busted I look, but still. He's my baby. I made him. And he's beautiful. I am just so proud of him. He's wide-eyed as usual, and people just go crazy for him.

We get to the terminal and check in. At the desk they tell us I could have brought a stroller and checked it at the gate. Damn. I didn't know that. I carried the baby the whole time. Curses. Live and learn I suppose. Braden and I shuffle him back and forth. I'd use my sling but it's not as comfortable as thought it would be and it won't be comfortable under the backpack. My back pack is HUGE and heavy. I've decided I need a different approach to that. I could rock the sling if I had something that rolled. I need a proper carry on bag now that we have a single good piece of luggage. Yeah, just the one and it's checked baggage size. It's great though. It fit stuff for all three of us, including 3 outfits per day for DJ.

So we finish with check in and head over to security. The line is a little long but it's not the hour and change fiasco I was expecting. That's comforting because this kid got HEAVY. I start thinking I made a terrible mistake going without a stroller. And then this woman with her 2 kids and infant carrier/stroller has to disassemble the whole thing with baby in hand to put it through security. Oh damn. Maybe I did right after all.

We get through security and head over to the terminal. DJ is asleep right up until I order my breakfast at a restaurant in the terminal. Then he's hungry. I break out my nursing wrap and feed the kid. It's not terribly comfortable, because I don't have nearly enough things to cram under my arm. This is a situation I need to think more about. What can I carry with me to make breastfeeding in public easier on my arms? Oh well. I feed him but he's not done by the time we're done with breakfast. So I put the first boob away and shuffle him out of the restaurant as quick as I can. B follows us with the diaper bag and carry on items. I find a corner in the gate waiting area and feed DJ the other boob. Finally he's satiated. But then his butt explodes. I get B to hold him till I can go pee and then come back to change him. For some reason beyond reckoning, the builders of the airport didn't think to put changing tables in the ladies bathroom. Bastards. I use my changing pad and built in changing area in my diaper bag to change DJ on the floor. Ye gods. People around us laugh, but not in a mean spirited way. One guy comments that this is the way it is as a parent. Sometimes you've just got to deal with these kinds of things.

Finally, we get settled, though they've already started boarding. We never hear them board disabled people or those traveling with small children, but we go ahead and board anyway. Once on the plane, things are good. We settle into our seats easily. B is sleep deprived, again, and is a little grumpy. Getting the bags and my breakfast leftovers straight is a bit of a challenge but we manage. Once settled, we wait for take off. I have one strap of my nursing bra unhooked in preparation for a quick boob dismount in case of sudden crying due to ear pressure. He's fine.

Later, I feed him on his normal schedule. The flight is quiet. We only get drinks, no snacks and the selection available for purchase is pathetic. B and I both get a little napping in, though be is rather annoyed by my incessant requests for assistance. One arm always has a baby in it. Kind of hard to do anything on plane.

Everything is peachy until landing. I know we're descending because DJ wakes up with a start and begins wailing. This is the reaction I was expecting on take off. That's OK. I have one over full boob ready for the nursing. He takes it down and still wants more. Unfortunately, I'm tapped out and we haven't landed yet. So I give him the knuckle of my pinkie. He likes that. Unfortunately, I can feel a bruise forming from the suction. So I switch fingers. That works until we get out of the plane. Then he's fussy all over again. We march to baggage claim and I bounce him around the carousel until he finally goes to sleep. Yay!

All in all, I'd say that worked brilliantly!

Summary of DJ's first week

After the first week I felt like I was recovering well. I started to get a handle on the baby duties and felt as though things were moving well. My milk came in on the Thursday after DJ was born. My boobs felt hot and I felt like I had a light fever. They got a little bigger, but mostly just filled in upwards. The bra's I'd bought still fit alright, except the 40D nursing bra I got at walmart. That was suddenly way too small.

There is some serious nipple tenderness but it's livable at this point. DJ seems to be filling out nicely. He never seemed to go through that shriveled up prune phase that most babies endure. He loves to eat and does regularly. He also likes to be fed promptly. He stares wided eyed at everything. Braden and I love him dearly.

He sleeps for 2 hours at a stretch at night and I feel like I can handle having this much sleep. He likes to sleep in the mornings, so I get time to sleep in with B, which is a great bonus. It's hard work but it's so much fun to hold him and look at him.

First Doctor Appointment

Sometimes, it's nice to miss your doctor. My doctor, who I was going to use as the pediatrician for DJ, was not available when DJ was born to either see him in the hospital (she doesn't work at Inova Alexandria) or for his first appointment (family emergency apparently). So we made an appointment with one of the other doctors in the practice. And we lucked out. Since the doctor was brand new to the practice, he had one of the partners shadowing him. The partner doctor, Dr. B, was unbelievably awesome. My B was rather nervous about the appointment. He was worried we were doing something terribly wrong with the baby. I knew better.

Dr. B examined DJ and fawned over him the whole time. It was so cool. He is a great doctor and seemed very knowledgeable. After checking all of DJ's reflexes, he concluded that DJ was about as advanced as you can get in a new born. Yay!

We confirmed that the missing testicle is hiding in DJ's body cavity, so that's good news. Other than that, DJ was perfect. He was supremely sweet to the doctor. I think he liked being handled, and it was incredibly warm in the exam room.

When they weighed him, he was nearly back to his birth weight, being 6lbs 6oz. The nurse also concluded that he was only 18 inches, and not 21 as the hospital tried to indicate. I wonder how they made such a mistake. DJ is pretty wriggly.

Hospital Stay

I don't remember everything about the hospital stay, so this will just be the highlights. I probably should have gotten B to take dictation, or to add to the baby blog but, hindsight is 20/20, right?
Oh well.

Once DJ was born, and I was ready to hold him, I tried to breast feed him. By this time, my sister had made it to the hospital. I'm SOOOO glad she did. I'm not sure if I could have used any more help during labor, though maybe she could have convinced me to take the epi. But afterward she was awesome. She wrangled the nurses. She instructed me on the use of my meds. She gave me breastfeeding lessons. She was the second star of DJ's birth day.

My first experience breastfeeding was super cool. DJ has a PH.D. in nursing. His latch left something to be desired but, he has a short frenulum (the thing that attaches your tongue to the bottom of your mouth) and that's really the culprit. Even so, he did a pretty good job. I have pictures of that experience, which is neat. Though I'm not sure who took them. I also don't know if I want to show them to anyone, on account of most of the pictures are of my boob. Hmm... I started on my left boob. Funny, that's the one that seems to have the best time lactating and has the least nipple soreness now. Hmmmm...

After that, they put me in a wheelchair, gave me the baby and rolled me up to the maternity ward. Then my nurse came to greet me. I was instructed that I had to drink plenty of water and pee twice or I wouldn't get my IV out. I wanted that thing out BADLY so I chugged water like crazy. My sister, who is a nurse, was with me and helped me go to the bathroom and take care of my busted business. She also helped give me tips and made super nice with the nurses.

Side bar: I remember being at her delivery for her first daughter, and it seemed like none of the nurses like her. I think they felt that as a patient, she was butting into their territory or over stepping her bounds. They seemed unwilling to help and generally kind of snippy. But the nurses for me seemed to like having an extra nurse around. They seemed to look to her to help keep me in line and answer my questions. Perhaps it's just my perception, but that's how it felt.

At some point that night they had to take the baby to do observations. I don't much remember that. I think it must have been right as I got into the room and I was so preoccupied with all of my business I didn't really notice that he wasn't there. Later that night, I had him in his plastic crib and I rolled it next to my bed so he would be right there. When he cried for feeding, I didn't even have to get out of the bed to feed him, I just raised it so I could pull him into the bed with me. I slept with him on my chest for a little while. I loved the feel of him, he was so small and cuddly. I tried to be as quiet as possible so Braden could get some sleep.

At some point in the middle of the night, DJ had some congestion. The nurse showed me how to use the bubble tubey thing to suck the boogers out. That was neat. I was walking around on the first night. I think I had a little insomnia at some point. So I took DJ around the ward. They were all impressed with my recovery.

The next day I had a PARADE of people come in and out of my room. They took the baby for morning observation. A bunch of people came through with bills or information or forms for us to fill out. Half the time I had a boob out with DJ on it. No one seemed to mind.

The day went quickly. A few friends visited. My sister came back and my mom came to spend the next night with me. She showed me all sorts of tricks to do with the baby. Diaper stuff, feeding stuff. It was good to have that second night to get used to things.

One of the most vivid memories I have is when they took DJ for observation on the second night. Mom was worried about the dimple on his butt, and the nurse noticed that DJ had an undecended testicle. We also asked about the Mongolian spot on his butt. So the nurse sat with us and did her evaluation of him right there so we could watch. It was interesting to see it and she listed all of the things she was looking for and how she would note it on his chart.

The undescended testicle is not that uncommon, apparently. It should come down on it's own by his sixth month or they would do surgery for it at one year. The dimple in his butt is only that, and not a hole, which is good. The spot is just a spot and should go away on it's own as well. Once she was done with his evaluation, she said I could take him to the nursery where they would finalize the evaluation and bring him back by 1 for his feeding.

In the mean time I went to sleep, happy in the idea that he'd be waiting for me in the room when I woke up. I woke up at 1 on the dot and he was not around. I didn't worry so much but I was disappointed. I got up and put myself together, then went to the nursery to fetch him. When I got there, they weren't sure if they had him or not. They let me in and we found him, and the blanket I had for him. I covered him back up and rolled him back to my room. I was talking to him on the way back, telling him I missed him and that I was glad to have him back and I started crying. I didn't think I'd get so emotional about him so soon, but I did. I wanted to be near him all the time. He was brand new, I'd hardly gotten time with him yet. I didn't want to miss any. So I fed him again and snuggled with him. Snuggling him always makes me feel better.

The next day we were released. The process took a while because we were waiting for our receipt. I got him into the car and was rather disturbed with the way his head was tilting forward in the car seat. It was enough to make me ok getting the infant carrier. They need to make car seats with an extra leveling apparatus so that you can get them properly flat in bucket seats. In any case, we got him home safe and sound.

My Labor Story

Once again, I would like to issue a "ADULT CONTENT WARNING". This post is meant for mature audiences who want INTIMATE details of how my labor went. We're talking down and dirty, blow by blow explanations here people. This is NOT for the faint of heart. Proceed with CAUTION.

I did it wrong. I can admit that now. We started off in a bad place and descended into utter chaos and disarray. First mistake: not sleeping the night before. What can I say, I was nervous and terrified. My labor never took off on it's own so we were getting induced. I was feeling a little bummed out that things hadn't gone as smoothly on the back end as they had on the front but, what can you do? He didn't want to leave. That's the way they are some times.

Second mistake: B didn't sleep either. So not only was I tired, he was practically DELIRIOUS. That's not good at all. He had 2 hrs, I had 4. We were both seriously hurting. Thankfully my mom was there and well rested. We'd have been fubar otherwise.

Third mistake: I only had a small breakfast. Patricia the midwife told me to have a good breakfast, but I was not sure that was a good idea. I should have done it anyway. I was starving most of the day.

Well, more mistakes later. What actually happened?

We got to the hospital and things were pretty good. Check in went smoothly and they took us to our room. We got settled in and they made me put on the gown. Wish I didn't have to, but I didn't have a robe really to go with stuff. and they were going to give me and IV so I think I needed to wear the gown. I had my camisole underneath though. The room was FREEZING. Note to friends: pack a sweater. And have any cold natured relatives pack them too. The three of us were freezing most of the time. I know they leave it cold (and I realized this at the time as well) because labor it hot and sweaty work when it gets going. Unfortunately, it took a LONG time for mine to get going and we were chilled to the bone in the mean time.

DJ was not cooperating from the start. The nurse & midwife team needed a 20 minute baby movement strip to be able to start my IV. Well, DJ doesn't like monitors and would bump up against it repeatedly every 5 minutes or so. He'd wiggle to the other side of the belly, in so much as he could in the awful reclined position they had me in. He never liked me laying back like that. Can't say as I blame him. It gets boney in the back, I imagine. Cramped, as if it weren't a tight fit already. So that frustrated efforts. We arrived at 8am. They weren't ready for my IV until 11 am. Yeah, that's a long time.

So at 11, we had the fourth mistake. My IV entry fiasco. I was obviously not in a good state of mind for this. I am terrified of needles to begin with and this nurse was not really receptive to that. And I freaked out a bit. So my vein rolled and then popped. That hurt, but it wasn't that bad. Sore and uncomfortable mostly. But it freaked me out because it meant she would have to use my hand instead. The idea of a needle going into my hand was more than I could take after a busted blood vessel. It took me 20 minutes to mentally recover from the experience enough to let her put it in my hand. She said she had never seen another case of needle fear as bad as mine. Can I express to you how NOT reassuring that was? Thanks lady. :-P After some meditative efforts, I allowed her to put the needle in my hand. It still didn't go well and was SORE has hell for the rest of the day and night. (And it took more than 2 weeks for the bruise to heal)

But we finally got it in and they started me on the petocin. Joy. I got a couple of good contractions at first, and then bupkiss. Nothing. Mild little contractions like I'd been having all along. Half the time I didn't even notice them. That's not a good sign. They bumped up the petocin every 30 minutes. After about an hour and a half, I didn't even notice. Around 2pm, I went to sleep at the suggestion of my mother. So did B, or at least he tried. I slept fine.

The midwife stirred me out of dream land around 3:30, wanting to check my cervix. She reluctantly let me wake up before she did that. It's like, "Look, Lady. You're about to touch my tonsils going through the other side. Can you give me a minute? I know you're working here but DAMN." When I came in, my cervix was at 2 maybe 3 centimeters. Now it was a solid three. Woop tee freaking do dah. Well, I wasn't expecting much. The contractions were practically nonexistent. So she said she would break my water. She got one poking stick thing, and couldn't puncture it. So she got another and kept getting stuck on my labia. Again, thanks, Lady. Finally she busted it and a warm gush of goopy feeling fluid came out of me. And blood. They said it was a good thing. I was a little freaked out.

And this is where the fun really began.

Within two minutes I was having serious contractions that were just a few minutes apart. And they were hard core. That mess hurt. Mom was super excited. I was having difficulty using my breathing tools. I was kind of shocked by the sudden nature of the thing. The nice nurse told me to rate my pain from a zero being no pain to a 10 meaning the worst head splitting pain I'd ever felt in my life. The cramps ramped up from a 1 to a 5 in no time flat. I told her when they got to seven, I wanted drugs. I think that took less than one hour.

And this is where I made my final mistake. People, listen to me. Take the Epi. Who cares about your spine, man. TAKE THE EPI!!! Nubain is for idiots who don't know better. Fools with a higher pain tolerance than me. Or for people who like to go through their labor in a state of semi-conscious insanity. Next time, I'm taking the Epidural right off the damned bat and making GOOD friends with my anesthesiologist. This is when labor REALLY started to suck.

The pain was mildly less, but the nubain made me loopier than a trapeze artist. I was half out of my mind most of the time. Breathing exercises? pfffft. Yeah right. I cursed a couple of times and then was too out of it to even formulate words half the time. There was actually an occasion when I was drifting in and out of consciousness and thought I was dreaming that I was in labor. The signal of the matrix was fading people and I was getting some NASTY feedback. The pain quickly ramped back up to a seven and then beyond. I'm not sure at what point the pain was at a ten, but I remember moaning and not even being able to breathe, then not having the strength to scream.

My sister called about that time, and wondered why the HELL I didn't take the epi. All that pain AND a needle in my back? Yeah, I was not mentally prepared for that. I didn't think I could handle it. Even with all of the happy epidural stories I'd heard, I just couldn't bear the idea of someone putting anything in my lower back, particularly with my lower back issues. (I get my bad back from my dad. The doctor said we need a back-i-otomy.) So I suffered.

Don't think I didn't ask for more drugs. I did. But DJ's heart rate dropped from 120 bpm to 100 and they said that I couldn't have any more. Probably would have made me loopier anyway. ugh. So I got to experience the rest of labor au natural, with mild mental issues. Yeah... next time we're doing it different. Next they put a gas mask on me so that the baby would get enough oxygen. This then made me hot and made it feel difficult to breathe. I felt closed in and claustrophobic. At one point they said I could take off the mask while pushing, I think, but I wasn't conscious enough to do it myself. And I think B and my mom were too preoccupied to help with that.

Mom was AWESOME throughout the labor though. She rubbed my head and ran her fingers through my hair. She told me I was doing great. She kept us together. Once I was ready to start pushing, she was down in the DANGER zone watching everything and trying to get my midwife to apply counter pressure to my back door so that it wouldn't explode. The midwife didn't have the right idea, but mom kept trying.

B was mildly helpful as a focal point, but as a coach he was missing something. I think neither of us were really together enough to know what we were doing. We had some minor practice but we really didn't practice at home together. We should have done, and I will next time. Then he made one fatal flaw. Thinking I'd passed out for a period of time, he went to his computer and started fiddling. I woke up from a daze expecting him next to the bed, and he was MIA. Not cool. I told him to get back to the bed. And to leave the computer alone. But he did it again. If I'd had the strength to get up out of the bed and beat on him, I would have. I gave him some strongly worded advice about staying next to the bed and he was there the rest of my labor.

I don't know how long I was pushing. Suddenly it was dark in the room and the bright lights of the exam table were on me. The midwife kept trying to get me to "curl around your baby and push him out." Yeah, that wasn't working so much. I didn't have the strength to lift myself up and grab my legs. Mom had a foot in her hand and she pushed it up to my face for me though, which was bomb. The midwife was encouraging, but really it was mom and her excitement that helped keep me going. She was down there going, "Oh my goodness! He's got a ton of hair!" She seemed totally in awe of what I was doing. Hell, looking back on it now I'm amazed I did it. Even now the memory of the pain is starting to fade.

At first, I couldn't feel DJ at all. He was pretty high up most of the time and it took a lot of work to get him into the birth canal. Once there, he kept sliding back in. It's really a hard feeling to describe. You wonder how that thing is going to fit through (both me and mom did). And I was worried enough to vocalize that I didn't think he would fit. But he did, eventually. And slowly he made his way down. The first push of every contraction was a wash, because I inevitably pushed with the front and not the back. That's the only way I can describe it. I was bearing down, but not using the right muscles. It really does feel like you're pushing through a big dump. Probably why you end up blowing out your "O-ring" when you're doing it. And I kept waiting for her to push against my bum so that I could match the push. Eventually I gave up and just pushed as hard as I could.

Suddenly, I got a HUGE contraction and it was like hitting the motherload. DJ shot straight through crowning and got stuck at his nose. Damn B and his big nose! Ha! And I could tell it was his nose. It was almost as if I could feel the contours of his face down there. And then I experienced the ring of fire. HOLY COW. It really does feel like you're business is BURNING. Like your baby's head is branding your cooch. It was EXCRUCIATING. And that was when I was able to speak again for the first time in a while. I shouted, "Get it out! Get it out!" To which the midwife responded, "Hold on." I didn't have the strength or where with all to retort but I was thinking she was out of her COTTON PICKING MIND if she thought I was going to sit there with his head stuck there burning and ripping my shizzle and just wait. Pffft! Suddenly there was a lot of commotion, as if they weren't ready for him to come out yet. But I was.

At the next contraction, that kid was COMING OUT. And he did. And he pretty much came flying out at that point. That part felt very much like it does when you get an enema and once the main blockade goes everything else comes sailing out in a torrent. Yeah... lumpy baby bits shooting out and then nothing but the tail. Well, the umbilical cord. But it felt like a little tail. And I could feel it still going up in there.

Next I heard funky suction sounds. And then the all too familiar "waaaaaahh!!" of newly born baby. Then, they flopped him onto my belly and said, "Here's your son." I couldn't even speak, I was so tired and overwhelmed. I looked down for just a second, just enough to see the purple-y mess on my tummy and then settled back again. "Great," I thought. "I'll just lie here for a few minutes. He'll be there when I'm ready. I'd love to sleep for like 3 days now. Thanks." Eventually they took him back, after they did the cord blood banking business.

Then they offered to let B cut the cord. He was looking green and rattled there and told them. "No, that's alright. I'll leave that to the professionals." They asked him if he was sure. I guess mom looked interested because he offered to let her cut the cord. Mom was so excited. She did. They took DJ to weigh him and put him in some clothes. I was surprised that he was only 6 lbs 7.1 oz. They said he was 21 inches long, but we have reason to believe they were smoking crack. Oh well.

After they carted the baby off to do the baby stuff to him, my midwife started making me uncomfortable and keeping me from resting. All of it was necessary though. First, she poked and rubbed on my belly to get out the placenta. Never saw it. I kind of wonder what it looked like now, but I may not really want to know. You know? Anyway, when she was done with that she proceeded to stitch up my business. I had a second degree tear on the right side and some minor damage on the left. Funny. Couldn't feel her stitching up the right at all, where it apparently tore into my lower labia. Yeah. OUCH.

But on the left side I could still feel her poking and pricking me. She gave me another shot of anesthetic, but it didn't help. Compared to the ring of fire and transition contractions, I'd say the sharp poking was a minor nuisance. I decided to shut up and deal. Then, she kept brushing up against my clitoris, which was all overstimulated and that was supremely annoying. I had no idea that the whole area would feel crazy like it did. Someone mentioned to me later that there's a lot of blood flow down there when you're delivering. You just don't think about it before you do it.

Finally I had enough strength to sit up and hold DJ for the first time. He was bug-eyed and funny looking, with a dark head of hair, but mostly bald on top and these big dark eyes that just stared at you. Funny looking, but cute as the dickens. I was worried I wouldn't like the way he looked at first, but I thought he was brilliant right from the start. I could hardly believe this little person just came out of me. Sometimes I still can't.

Summary of the final three weeks

Warning: Some graphic content describing bodily functions. If you don't want to know, don't read on.

Sorry, but I have to share this stuff. Or I want to remember this when I go to try to do this again. I've tried to maintain the blog in present tense, but I give up now. At this point, it's all retrospective.

Anyway, I had been doing well tummy wise. I have a tendency to have 2 kinds of gastrointestinal issues: blockages or gas. The former is far worse than the latter. During and slightly after my trip to Miami, the former became a bit of an issue. This is not uncommon for me during travel. The problem was it exacerbated some preexisting issues back there and had me pretty worried. Thankfully, a trip to the midwifes and a lot of water consumption and I was back on the track to happiness.

All that ended 3 weeks before my due date. No amount of water, stool softener or fiber consumption could keep the blockade at bay, and my back door suffered for it. This put me in a nasty position for labor. And I knew that going in. But what can you do?

Two weeks before my due date, my eating habits started to change. Some days I was absolutely ravenous. Other days I'd hardly eat at all. I was hoping the lack of hunger was a sign that labor would be starting. No such luck. I just kept bouncing back and forth between the two feelings and struggling to keep things moving in my system. It was tough. This trend persisted through my due date, right up until I was induced.

Getting crowded

WHOA NELLY! You know, I realized that at some point I would be like, "Ok, get him out! Get him OUT!!" but I didn't think it would be quite this bad, or this mutual. I think he's trying to escape through the front of my tummy. Or trying to stretch it out so he can have more room. DJ will push out with his whole butt, or with a leg and seem to try to stretch out. MAN, is that uncomfortable. It's getting to be painful. A lot of the movements today were painful. There was poking, stretching, rolling and general pandemonium. I tried to talk him down and it only helped a little. I think after the last growth spurt he was rather confused about why he suddenly didn't fit. Poor guy. What can we do? Hopefully, he will get a little used to it.

Can't Concentrate

It's been a busy day. I stopped by a colleague's house to pick up some work since she didn't have a car today. I had a meeting I was late for as a result. I had a lunch date that I had to make. I've been working like mad all day for this crazy client who just changed his mind on the course of our project after accepting several deliverables. It's a tough day.

DJ doesn't give a hoot. He's rolling around on the belly like it ain't no thang but a chicken wing. He mooned my colleague this morning, sticking his butt out on one side of my stomach like he used to do with his head back when he was hanging out in a more breech position. Now I get butt and feet protrusions. Then he shifts in a way that I can't tell if he's spinning on his head like a break-dancer or just moving his feet in circles like he's riding a bike. Or he's giving me a foot work "Wax on, wax off." I'm not really sure any more. All I know is that he's been going on pretty frequently since lunch and it's starting to make me dizzy. I knew this would happen. I knew he'd get big enough to undulate in a way that would rock the whole boat. That doesn't make it any easier to deal with, it just makes it a little more amusing.

I'm half enjoying all the fun he's having, and half wishing I could get more work done. boy, I could use a nap.

Seriously Late Night

DJ and I were up late last night. I was tired early but I decided to watch TV for a while before crashing, and then a really good movie I'd never seen uncensored came on so I just had to watch it. While I was watching, DJ entertained himself plenty. He poked at me, wiggled his feet, shifted to create a large lump off to one side of the belly and generally danced. It was good times. The only problem was when I got to bed around 2:30 am, he was still rather perky and bounced around a bit before settling down. I suppose watching a thriller and getting my blood all up and moving didn't help him out.

I've been getting opposing side pokes for a while, usually a few pokes down low accompanied by pokes up high that are kitty-corner to the bottom ones. Occasionally, I've gotten them on opposing sides of the belly that make it feel like he's poking straight across. I haven't figured out how he does that. Well, last night I got two pokes simultaneously on either side of the belly. It was high enough that I thought it might be feet but I have no idea what it could have been. Very strange feelings.

Additionally, I've gotten some foot stretching. I'm lucky though... he seems to keep his feet to the front so they aren't getting stuck under my ribs and killing my kidneys.

Later today we are finally going shopping for furniture. I think now that the room is painted and empty, B really feels like he can think about these things reasonably and not feel like it's too soon. We're not planning on a crib, at first. Mostly a bassinet and a bouncer. We'll just have to see how it goes I suppose.

Rolling over

We really needed a new mattress. Thankfully, for my body, we got one. I'm still getting some pain but it's not nearly as bad as before, and I can last longer on one side or the other. But that's just me. I'm not sure the DJ likes all the moving around at night. If I stand up and use the bathroom before I flip over, it seems to be fine. But last night I had a mid-night flip over that I did without standing up. Apparently he was in a rather bad position for me to move from my right side to my left. I lay down and curled up around my pillow and I could tell DJ was not quite right. I was going to try to cramp my hand under the belly to give him a soft nudge when I got all four appendages going at the same time. The boy rolled himself over. At least that's what it felt like. Poke, poke poke, wiggle, poke, wiggle, flop. It wasn't in four quadrants, the feet felt together and the hands felt together, but the speed of the poking leads me to think that all of the appendages were involved. It was rather startling in the middle of the night. He seemed to settle right down and go back to sleep though. Which is good. Because that means that I could go back to sleep as well. There were some early morning wiggles, but generally he slept the rest of the night. Yay!

Trouble with food

Ok, so I know I'm supposed to be watching what I eat but I'm really hungry a lot of the time. I really feel like, wow, I need to eat. I'm not craving anything, still. I never have. Well, no more than usual. And the cravings feel normal. "Oh I feel like chocolate for this snack" or "Maybe something salty" and regularly, "Ooooh! Toast!" These are all normal feelings for me.

I try to fulfill my need to eat without eating total junk food, and without going overboard at lunch or dinner. That's pretty hard. And now, I've got another problem. My space is really shrinking. The uterus and DJ are really pushing up against my stomach now. I feel like I run out of space much sooner than I used to. Stuff that used to fit no problem now leaving me feeling over stuffed and sleepy, particularly at lunch time. I don't get it. Maybe it's my chair at work compresses everything upward. It's getting problematic. I want to save up for the good stuff at lunch, but then I can't fit the good stuff I saved up for. Bummer. I guess just have to spread it out more.

Wow, it's getting cramped in here

Uh oh. I had an edamame overdose. We were at Pei Wei and B had to fight me for the edamame, and then I finished my dinner to boot. B looked at me and said that DJ was going to have a growth spurt. Normally when I eat like that and don't realize that I'm hungry, that's what it means. Either I'm back sliding or we have serious growth spurt happening. By the end of the week I've had a couple more "oh wow, I didn't realize I was that hungry" episodes and now it feels REALLY crowded in here. The second night after I felt like DJ was suddenly very uncomfortable. Every movement was a little painful. It's not a sharp pain but more of a rather serious discomfort. It's like he was trying to find a new way to lie in there, and I got lumps in new and odd places. Most of the moment was slow and lengthy rather than the quick taps I've been getting.

He feels bigger now. He seems to extent the length of my stomach for some time now, at least from crown to sternum. Now, I can't every feel the head, but it seems like I get the shoulders down at the bottom of the belly. I get a long, heavy and thick mass that feels like a back or a side through the side of my stomach on a regular basis, particularly when I'm lying on one side or the other. Apparently, I get a butt or a thigh sticking out of the top of the belly on a regular basis two. Once, during the week, I got two feet poking me one after the other, as if he were wiggling them. I could almost see the indian style sitting position in my mind, with his butt just under the top of my tummy.

Generally, he seems much meatier, much denser. I don't feel fluid movements the way I used to. The movements aren't lethargic either. They just seem heavier, like it takes more energy and force for him to move, partly because he is heavier and partly because there's not as much space.

I am also starting to feel hiccups. I thought I wasn't feeling them before because he wasn't getting them. I think that he wasn't big enough for me to feel them before. Now, he's taking up so much space that the little jiggles reverberate around the belly and I can tell. Sometimes it lasts for several minutes. I try to stroke the belly, because I feel so bad for him. I hate the hiccups. They give me acid indigestion. And there's nothing I can do for him to help with it. The movement is still very slight though. I still get way more belly reverb/standing wave action from a good boot to the side. And that's still his favorite place to poke me - along the sides of the belly.

I feel like I'm huge as well. My mom is starting to worry that I've gained too much weight. The non-familial consensus is that it's all in the belly and they don't know what she's flipping out about. Braden agrees with the peanut gallery. I'm trying to watch what I eat as much as I can but, it's really starting to get difficult. I'll just have to keep an eye on it.

Jumping Jacks

Well, DJ is up early again. Which is how I got this cluster of blogs done. I've been meaning to write up a lot of things and now at the crack of dawn I've finally found the time. I've been uncomfortable all night, feeling like my insides are being jostled just a little too much during my mid-sleep potty breaks. Then, even as B was finally coming to bed, DJ was waking up and starting to dance. It's amazing how well he dances now that he's running out of space. But I've got movement and poking in 2 to 3 quadrants of the belly. I still haven't figured out how he manages it or what the heck I'm feeling? What's a foot? What's a hand? What's an elbow? I don't know. I just know that it's all over the place and too distracting for me to sleep. At to that my incessant leg cramps and I just decided to come down and blog instead of sleep for a few. Hopefully I'll get back up there soon and nap for another hour so I can be a little productive today at work. Here's hoping.

One more neat thing he did last night was undulate. I was sitting down at the home improvement store because I've been contracting a bit and trying not to tire out my business. So I was leaning back and tapping on the belly and DJ started poking me back and rolling around. The neatest part about it was that I could see the appendage sail it's way across the skin of my belly through my dress, like Jaws in the water. Most people would think this is a STRANGE thing to watch but I thought it was brilliant. Remember the hand through plastic video effect I was talking about? Well, I think that's pretty cool, even if it would give most people the creeps.

I tried to call B over to see but DJ stopped moving when Daddy came. I don't get it. He always quiets down when daddy comes and fondles the belly. I wish I could share more of this movement with B.

Yeah, I'm excited

I get asked about the baby a lot now. It's really nice. I love sharing about the baby. I just met a friend who hadn't seen me in the better part of a year for lunch and we chatted about it a lot. It was really interesting to hear myself talk about the feelings I've been having lately.

1) I really thought I'd loose myself in this. Either I have and I didn't notice or I've just naturally extended my personality to include "mom." Maybe it wasn't that hard of a stretch as I thought it would be. Having people ask about the baby doesn't bother me. Flowing in and out of talking about him doesn't bother me. I don't feel as if I, as a person, don't get enough attention and that everything is centered on baby. Yet. I thought it would be immediate. I thought that having a baby would somehow eradicate everything I was. It hasn't at all. I still feel like me. I just have this cool, little person inside of me. It's weird to think of it that way, but that's just kind of how it is.

During lunch we wandered in and out of mommy talk and weaved it in with talk about Uncle Evil (he's not really the baby's uncle, but my mom has crowned him as such. Since he's my new big brother and taking my place in her will ;-) we'll just go with that.), talk about work, talk about technologies and what's appropriate to upgrade your skills with. It was a totally adult conversation. Why wouldn't I want to talk about the baby too? I'm so excited about this addition to my life, to my family.

2) That leads very nicely into a later conversation with a stranger. He asked when I was due, and I gave him the July 8th date the doctors have tried to convince me is my due date. We'll see when DJ wants to come. Anyway, then he asked what I'm having and I responded, "Oh, a boy." Insert big smile here. He asked if my husband was excited to have a boy too, and I said he would have been happy either way. The man seemed surprised, and then mildly lost as he entered the garage.

B and I are both excited to have a boy, but we would have been excited either way. I was secretly hoping for a girl, thinking I would relate to a little girl better. I knew somehow intrinsic that I was having a boy instead. I just kept thinking, I want a girl so Karma will give me a boy instead. So I wasn't at all surprised when they told us he was a boy in the first sonogram. I was a little surprised at his size but not that. It didn't take much getting used to because I'd had the feeling for a while. And really, I was just thrilled that everything was going so smoothly and he looked so healthy.

Now that I've been running around with him for months, I can really say I'm totally excited about it. It has less to do with a gender distinction and more to do with his personality, or what glimpses I have of it at this point. I'm having fun with him. I feel like we have good times. He tickles me and plays with me from the inside. I talk to him and he interacts with me. I like the way it feels when he pokes (most of the time) and it's really neat to feel him grow. That's what I'm excited about. I can't wait to meet him when he's no longer a direct part of me. I might miss having him on the inside, but then I'll get him on the outside for the rest of our lives. I think he's just going to be the neatest thing since sliced bread. I feel like the three of us are going to have great times together, and when we make him some siblings, that's going to be great fun too. For me, the baby's sex is irrelevant. It's just about B, DJ and me.

Growth Spurt

Oh boy. I'm pretty sure we had another growth spurt. And my we, I mean DJ. Well, the first few times this happened, I would get hungry but not realize I was really hungry until I had gorged a bit on something. One time it was edamame and the belly and baby both seemed to jump in size dramatically. Well, the belly hasn't really grown much. I seem to have reached a plateau with subtle upward growth and rounding being the primary features.

Well, this weekend I was at a pan asian restaurant and B had to fight me over the edamame plate. And it was a BIG plate of edamame. He noticed it and mentioned that I rarely go after the edamame like that. When the food came, we both thought I would only get halfway through it, being full up on soy beans. Nope. I cleaned off the shrimp and a decent portion of rice to boot. B said then that the baby was going to have a growth spurt.

So I've been trying to get extra sleep all week and I haven't been succeeding. So I've been tired as hell. Terribly unfortunate. Then today, I noticed it. DJ was UNCOMFORTABLE. He was moving in ways he'd never moved before, and most of them were rather annoying if not down right painful. He'd poke hard and I'd be completely distracted. I tried to rub the belly to get him to stop but whatever he did it just felt horrible. It's the first time he's really bothered me with movements. Thankfully things seem to have settled down now and he's untangled his limbs. But we had a rough day up to that point.

Not a morning baby!! Yikes!

I may need to change my theory about how DJ is behaving. He seems to like to get up first thing in the morning. Well, not even first thing, just BEFORE first thing. 5:30 or 6am and he's poking me again! And this is after I've already shut the windows to the birds. Either the boy's got incredible hearing in there (so I didn't blow out his ears in Miami with all the clubbing) or he just likes the morning.

So I was happily sleeping, dreaming about talking to someone's dad about our escapades and how I used to tell my parents everywhere I went (HA! that's a big fat fib!). I'm not pregnant in this dream until I start getting a FLURRY of blows to the belly from the inside. Unperturbed I look down and pet the tummy and there it is again. Slowly, but surely, I wake up. I would say this flurry continued on and off for a good 10 to fifteen minutes. I'm sure I got a hundred movements in that time. It was crazy. Thankfully, he wasn't kicking that hard. He seemed to just be having fun. I figure it was feet because it always seemed to me that babies get their foot coordination before their hand coordination. That's my impression anyway. The ends seemed small and hand like, but I can't imagine him punching in such a coordinated manner. It was almost as if he were kicking to swim, as opposed to the baby standing dance (you know, when you put them on your lap and hold them up a bit and the legs go up and down like they are dancing?).

Funny thing is, I went back to sleep for a little while longer and when I woke up again he was quiet. He's been quiet until just now when I sat down to write this. And now he's poking at me again. It's a gentle prodding kind of feeling, and occasionally it feels like he's stroking me on the inside or something. We're hungry so I'd better go and feed us soon!

The Running Man

Well, with the birds and all, I think that DJ has gotten used to unreasonably early attention. Today there was a different dance. It felt as though he was doing a bicycle with his feet. If he were on the dance floor, it could also be considered the running man. Funny that. I don't remember playing any MC Hammer for the baby yet. I might need to do that now. But really, how can one avoid hearing "Can't Touch This" during the course of any given year.

It was certainly an interesting sensation. I'm still getting used to some of the crazy movements he's doing, particularly when I'm trying to sleep.

Eek! Is that a foot?

So, I'm supposed to be counting the baby movements and keeping track of this stuff. Yeah, I kind of am. It's hard. DJ's "high movement" times are so random. Sometimes it's first thing in the morning. Sometimes it's super late at night, as soon as I jump into bed. Sometimes it's just before lunch time. Mostly it's just whenever.

Lately I've been getting some crazy early morning movements. It's been nice enough so that we open the windows at night. And then noisy enough with the birds that I have to get up at 5 am (the sun isn't even up yet, people! sheesh!) to shut the windows again. I'd say at least two or three times, it wasn't just the noise of the birds that woke me. As I lay there thinking about trying to sleep through the cacophony, DJ insisted that I get up and cut that racket out. There was some serious poking that felt definitively like a fist in my side. He was NOT having it. Once the noise was gone and I was back in bed, I got a few wriggles and then some light dancing. I've learned to sleep right through that kind of activity if it's early enough. Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.

When I do remember to count, the counting goes quickly. The happy nurse who explained the movement count to us told us that 10 movements in 2 hours is perfectly normal. Wow, my fetus has ADD. Ten movements in ten minutes is pretty common, though I usually loose track around five or six. Since those usually occur in the first 2 minutes of counting (which I start whenever I feel a flurry that seems likes it's going to last a bit), I figure I'm getting a good estimate. The insistent fist banging on the uterus to let me know that the racket outside will not be tolerated would probably get me a good fifteen movements in a minute.

This morning he was particularly frisky. I slept in a bit because me and my GI tract were having a bit of a fight, and it was winning. I hate having to put down a good coupe d'etat but sometimes it must be done. I needed some recovery time because the revolt had persisted longer than I'd anticipated. Apparently, DJ was either feeling cramped or extra rested. It seemed pretty happy though, as he started to dance at me. I got a good 15 pokes in at least two spots on opposite sides of the belly before I lost track. It felt as if he were pumping his fists to the left and right independently. That seems like a lot of coordination for an infant. I would think that a foot and a fist would feel like they are different sizes.

Later on in the morning, I got to experience that precisely. I was sitting happily at the computer when I felt a strong poke that stayed poking out long enough for me to look down and see a long protrusion from my belly. Now that was a foot. Long and thin, but not long enough to be an arm, it just sat there. Funny, it wasn't uncomfortable, though it was a little weird looking. I'm not sure why my night gown was pulled up high enough for me to actually see skin, perhaps I pulled it up to see the foot a little closer. That was even weirder looking. But it was still kind of neat. So I started talking to the foot.

"What is that? Are you poking a foot at me?! What are you doing?"

Conversations with DJ often sound a lot like that, when I have the time or inclination to talk to the poking. I rubbed the bottom of the foot, pressing lightly on it as if I were tickling it and it slid away. That looked really crazy. And it tickled as well, at which point I started giggling. He kept that foot against me for a little longer before doing something that repositioned the feet.

Ok, so it looked a little like he was trying to escape there for a minute. And with the strength of some of the blows I've gotten lately, I wouldn't doubt that he may have a plan to that effect. If I'm laying down, he'll hit me hard enough that it feels like the whole belly is reverberating. It's like he's trying to create a standing wave in my tummy. Thankfully, it doesn't usually hurt, particularly if he does it on the sides, but it can sure keep a body from sleeping. The foot a the top of the belly is new though, and particularly interesting.

My good friends the crazy Crespo sisters saw me when I was in Miami. And I said to them that at some point he'd be cramped enough in there that you'd be able to see him trying to press through the skin like in those crazy 80's videos. I did a demonstration of what this might look like for them, putting my hands next to my face and pressing against imaginary skin. They told me I'm the only person they've ever known who would think of their baby that way. Yeah well, now he's doing it, at least with his feet. So there!

Crazed Mama

Ok, I really meant for this blog to be all about DJ, but I need to share this. I think the experiences I've had over the last few months are important to remember if (when) I get pregnant again. And hopefully to remember after I deliver, though that may be a problem if things keep going the way they are going.

I'm losing my mind.

No, really. I'm seriously losing it.

Ok, I have joked about being dazed and confused for most of my life. I am happy to admit that I am a space cadet, happy traveling the universe with narry a care given to my tenuous attachment to reality. But this is getting to be ridiculous.

It started with mild forgetfulness. Almost to the point that I didn't notice. I've always misplaced things and lost track of stuff, so when it gets a little worse I'm not likely to pay all that much attention to it. That is, until someone calls out the fact that I've forgotten something important.

In January, I forgot a shrink appointment I had. Oops. I think I forgot to put it in my calendar. My bad. Then, I started forgetting assignments at work if I didn't write them down IMMEDIATELY. That's not so strange, actually. That's pretty common. But the half life on my assignments was starting to get perilously short. Like forgetting when walking from my boss' office back to my own, when they are across the hall from each other. Uh oh. In Mid-March I was running late for a dentist appointment because I forgot I had it at all. When I called to tell them I was running late, they said I wouldn't make it and to reschedule. OK. No problem.

I made it to Miami and back with hardly an issue. Though I had to be repeatedly reminded to call a couple of close friends. And I did apparently forget to tell Evil (that's what I call him) to pack a set of nice clothes for the baby shower that my mom was throwing me. (Though I still blame him for not ever showing the SLIGHTEST interest in the activities we were going to do and showing up with 57 lbs of clothes/stuff that wasn't entirely activity appropriate.)

But that was March. And with April showers and my 6 month mark came PANDEMONIUM. I forgot a second shrink appointment that again was not in my calendar. I had the foresight to call and ask if we were having it but had already made other plans by the time she got my message. Bugger. I'm working on my baby shower stuff, along with house stuff and I completely lose track of a) how many weeks are in this month, b) how many of them we've already gone through and c) how much time I have in general to get all of our stuff done. Bad signs people.

Last night I'm at my first childbirth class last I say that we are currently in 2001, the 21st century, there's no reason to go through pain without meds. B was so kind as to remind me that we are in 2008. What happened to my 7 years? I mean, in 2001 I was poor, jobless for more of the year than I care to remember and still living in Miami. Now we're in the mid-atlantic, I make good money (thank you, thank you) and we are far from poor, even if we aren't millionaires. I don't get yelled at for going crazy in the dollar section any more because really, we can afford to blow the $5-$15 every once in a while. (I get stuff for the kids there. It's great!)

I got assigned to travel at the end of April (Road Trip! Woohoo!) and so my rescheduled dentist appointment had to move since it happened when I got back. Ok, so I manage to get them to move it up by a week. Note: Dentist Appointment is Apr. 30th. One week before is Apr. 23. Today is Apr. 16. But it is a Wednesday. I know you see where this is going.

I wake up this morning, after getting home late and CRASHING, in a panic. Oh bloody hell, I think. I forgot to get my hard drive and bring the files home so I can work from home and go to my dentist appointment. Curses! I'll just have to go into work in the morning and work from home in the afternoon. I am picking up my things, trying to get out of the house as quickly as possible (and FAILING. I know you're not shocked) and my phone buzzes. I have it on vibrate. Luckily I was looking at it at the time. Oh, it's the Dentist Office. They can move me up to today at noon, can I make it? Sure. Didn't I already make my appointment for today at noon? Huh. no matter.

I go into work and about my business. I inform my boss I'll be going to the dentist and that I forgot all my docs. Oops. I'll take them with me. I barely make it out of the office on time and I put the pedal to the limit of the metal I'm willing to tempt fate with because cops in this town LOVE giving tickets ( and the fines now are BRUTAL). I even manage to navigate a new route to a highway in one of the most confusing sections of town (GW Parkway where it hits 29, 66, 50 and HELL) and cruise control my way to the Dentist Office just in time. They thank me for being able to make it. I pant because I nearly didn't.

The cleaning is routine. Nothing spectacular about my teeth other than my gums are a little madder than usual on account of being pregnant and all. Floss, floss, floss! Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we get out and they set me up with a 6 month appointment. I open my palm pilot and realize the date... and notice the missing appointment. My gods. I nearly took a 40 minute EXCURSION from the center of the city to the western suburbs for an appointment I didn't have until NEXT WEEK. I'm so glad they bumped me up! Lucky for me, they did. At least I remembered the appointment this time!

Please, please, please tell me this ends when I pop! Please tell me there is SANITY, or at least what little remnants I had of sanity to begin with, when this adventure ends!

I read on CNN this may last until the kid hits pre-school. Say it ain't so!

Dancing Morning

This morning the birds woke me up at an UNGODLY hour again. Apparently, the woke up DJ again today. He was up like me at 6 something again. With some coaxing, I got him to relax enough for me to go back to sleep. B was dead to the world and I couldn't get him to roll over using normal methods (stroking a sleeping arm or calling out his name quietly), so I was on my own.

When I woke up again later this morning, the baby was dancing. You know how an infant looks when they are just scrambling on their backs? Their little arms just flail and the legs wiggle? That's what it felt like. All kinds of random poking that was soft and happy feeling. It was neat. I dozed for a little while longer, still feeling tired from the day before. Once the leg cramps I've been getting while sleeping got overwhelming, I got up.

Now I'm sitting in front of the computer and he's tickling me like crazy. I'm trying not to giggle too much since B is sleeping down the hall but it's hard. Whenever anything rests against the side of the belly, I stroke him.

I've been doing that a lot. I try to acknowledge any movements with sound or touch. I want him to know that I can feel him, that I'm reacting to his movements. I dream about being able to cuddle and play with him. I think he's going to be a wriggly baby and tons of fun. I tell him that I can't wait to meet him, that we're excited to have him with us. A co-worker suggested that he'd be more anxious to come out in a timely fashion if he's getting that kind of feedback. I hope so. This belly is HUGE!

Everything Is Back To Normal

Well, now that we're back home and I'm sleeping more regularly in my bed with the fluffy pillows, things are back to normal. DJ plays with me all day. I'm pretty sure he knows just how to move so he can tickle me, because he does it regularly. I have asked around and I think I'm the only pregnant lady I know, or that anyone I know knows, that finds the sensation of certain movements ticklish. I am particularly ticklish anyway but still, I think it's a rather unique experience. That's ok, I have a girlfriend who had a sensation of baby movements that felt like worms. I'm glad I missed that experience. That doesn't sound fun at all.

Anyway, I'll be talking to people at work or around and I'll get a poke from him. It feels like a little fist or elbow or something small. I almost always make a noise of some sort, some kind of startled "Oooh!" sound. Usually there's no movement to proceed it. Or at least I can't tell that he's plotting to poke me most of the time.

Then there's the rub movement, which usually happens on the sides or top of the belly. Those almost always tickle. It feels like a shoulder or an arm sliding against the side. Sometimes it feels like he's up against the side and rolling. I don't know why it tickles but it does. Sometimes, it sends me into fits of giggles and he'll do it for several minutes at a time.

Sometimes I'll feel him just moving around during the day, switching positions and stretching out. I can't usually tell which way he's facing, whether he's head up or down. I occasionally get the head poking out of the belly, but that's not as frequent any more. The worst day time feeling is when he's hanging out on the bladder and bouncing it. It's like I can feel it through my whole lower abdomen. That's terribly uncomfortable.

He's back to his normal night time movements as well, which is so comforting. B can always calm him though, which is also good. Now that the weather is finally getting nicer, I think the bird calls (they are REALLY loud) wake him up like they do me. B sleeps right through them but they annoy the heck out of me. It would be cute at noon but at 5:30 in the morning it's just rude.

One morning I felt DJ stretch, two pokes in rapid succession on either side of the belly that were fairly soft and then remained in place. Slowly they got stronger and then released. It really felt like he was just stretching out. It was so cute.

Quiet Baby, What Happened?

Well, this whole week we've been wandering around Miami. We drove down to the keys with my friends. Mommy got all emotional because she missed Daddy. Everyone's blaming it on hormones but I know better. We've never been apart this long, and I'm taking my friends to do all the things, except snorkeling, that I'd normally do with B. It hit me on the way back up from the keys. It's torture. I got over it and we hit the clubs and hung out with my Miami Homies.

All the while the baby is QUIET. Not a whole lot of movement at all. Even when we got the extra sonogram (Thanks Uncle P.R.!), he was sleeping. He was so cute too. He looked just like B. His hand was over his head and he was just OUT.

I think he missed his Daddy. And I've completely hosed our routine. Who knew babies could get used to a routine in utero. Even though weekends are often different, I think there's a comfort with home and familiar activities and sound that even they get used to. So I think
that he was just out of sorts.

Some people wondered if the lack of movement freaked me out. It didn't. I could feel him moving around in there but there wasn't the distinct kicking and playful tickling that I'd gotten used to. And so I could just tell he was not right in the situation.

Then there was the one time he did kick - at night. When I'd finally make it to be he'd move and kick in this antsy sort of way, like he was restless. I attribute this feeling, this motion to missing B the most. Every night B comes in and tucks us into bed. He talks to us and rubs the belly, occasionally schnuggling the belly. That routine puts me in the mood to sleep and calms me. It always seemed to calm DJ too. If he was kicking like mad, Daddy would come round and rub the belly and he'd quiet down. (He might start up again after but it was usually only momentary). I think he missed the routine.

Are you listening to us?

Today we had our first baby shower. Mom (my mom) threw one while me and a couple of friends were in Miami. I invited my very good friends in to visit as well, which led to interesting conversations. We'll get to that in a few.

First of all, parties at my family's house get LOUD. I mean, seriously. You get a dozen people around drinking and it doesn't take much for passionate discussions to ensue. I think this is why I didn't get much baby movement today. He seemed quiet. But he head was sticking out on top all day. No feet kicking, no rolling arm against my side. Not even sitting on the bladder. I didn't mind, his head did move around. But it was almost as if he were standing up and trying to figure out what was going on all day. That's pretty interesting.

I also noticed that the shape of my stomach was changing based on his position. When his head was dead center, I had a nice pointy looking belly. But when he slid off to one side, the belly looked lopsided. It was neat and a little disturbing at the same time. I had a couple of people tell me that would happen, but it's still weird to watch your body change shape without you doing anything specific to cause it. Wacky.

So once my girlfriends got there, we were laughing and carrying on. That was tremendously fun. I noted for them at the time that his head had been high and poking all day. We were laughing about how he must be trying to hear. I noted for them that I could feel the head and see my belly moving and they were a little surprised. I told them that soon he'd be big enough where you might see the shape of an appendage in my skin. Or that he would sit in the belly and put his face against the side and it would look like one of those music videos in the 80s where people were trying to press their faces through the rubber and you could see all their features smooshed against the plastic. Now, I didn't just explain this, I demonstrated it with facial movements and sound effects. I'm not really sure that any baby could produce quite that effect in a belly, but that's just the visual that's popped into my head. My friends flew off in fits of hysterical laugher. They couldn't imagine anyone else thinking of their baby that way. Later on, one of my visiting friends from VA said that it seemed quite a reasonable analogy to her. At least it's not just me.

Baby with a tail? It's just a dream

Ok, I had my first wacky delivery dream last night. And it seemed really long. It's a bit disturbing so I'm rating it PG-13.

So, I wasn't in labor, so it wasn't painful, but for some reason my sister T was coaching me on delivering. We were on a couch so I could kneel on it and squat and it all seemed a bit premature to me. I went along with it anyway. There was some crazy male nurse there. It was taking a while so he told me to go home but I was like... uh.. it's nearly out! I could feel that the baby was... uh... crowning? What's it called when the head is in the canal? Cause that's where I was, and walking around. It was lunacy, I know. It's a dream. So I went to the nurse and he wouldn't help. So I went back to T and she said, "Well, just keep going then." And so we did and out he came.

He was nearly full sized (which is weird considering it was premature) and he started breathing right off. I had been worried that stuck in the canal while I was getting help he was getting deprived of oxygen. T cleaned him up and handed him over and he was just too cute, but a little pointy. Very sharp chin, hard cheekbones for a baby, and slit eyes. The weirdest thing was the tail. He had a short tail extending from his bottom, perhaps 3 - 4 inches long. It wagged and extended from his tail bone. I was not particularly worried, I associated it with his being premature. T assured me it would fall off on it's own. It was REALLY very strange.

So I spoke to him. I told him it was all right, that mommy was here. (I've given up on the mama business, I just can't get myself to call myself that. Funny.) He opened his eyes and looked at me and started talking back. So I took him in this huge communal bath thing and warmed the water and cleaned him up. We talked the whole time. I told him I was excited to have him here and that he looked like a neat cross between B and I. He was a slightly darker shade of caramel than I am with black curly hair which was thin and soft like mine was when I was a baby, only mine was straight. It took a little while for the curls to develop.

After the bath, we went somewhere else. There was a fair and some crazy activity happening with a flying train. It was very strange. I don't remember much of that part only that I was helping to catch a bad guy and that DJ was with me or very near by the whole time.

Hey, I told you it was weird. It was only in the last month and a half or so that I've even had dreams where I was pregnant in them. I'm still more than 3 months away from my due date and I'm having dreams about delivering. It wasn't a scary delivery though, I was very calm. Which is a little comforting.

Before bed, I was listening to some classical music. Eine Kleine Nachtmusik was supposed to play. I think I passed out before I heard it though. I was hoping it would calm DJ down at bed time. Uh, not so much. We wasn't punching my bladder or doing the superman, but he was jamming and dancing nonetheless. At least the music helped me pass out anyway.

Superman in Utero

Last night my son was pretending to be superman. How do I know this? Well, I was laying on my left side getting ready to go to sleep. I felt a quick flutter and then two bumps - a very forceful bump on the lower quadrant of my stomach (thankfully not my bladder AGAIN) and one on the opposite upper quadrant of my stomach. It was as it he had his feet down on the bottom and stretched his arms above his head and then jumped! so that he would shoot the short (probably not much longer than he actually his) distance from one side to the other.

Of course, this is seriously distracting from my ability to sleep.

So I called in reinforcements.

I got out of bed, walked to the top of the stairs and called down to where B was watching cartoons in the living room.

"Honey, your son it trying to be superman in my stomach! I need you to come up here and tell him to go to bed."

At first, I got a laugh, and then an assurance that my back up was on it's way. I settled back down into my spot and B came to sooth the savage beast in my tummy. After some petting and chatter, DJ settled down and seemed to go to sleep too. Didn't hear much of a peep from him during the night, so I think B did his job well.

A Test of Wills

For the first time, Dylan and I had a disagreement. All day yesterday he was DETERMINED to lay right on my bladder, and elbow it repeatedly. This was horribly uncomfortable. First, it was heavy in the lower belly region, which is not a happy feeling. Second, it made me feel like I needed to pee all the time, also not a happy feeling. The third was the worst - he would thump my bladder producing a feeling that I can only describe as seeming like he was strumming my urethra like a guitar string. That REALLY made me feel like I needed to pee or I would leak everywhere. Most of the time, there was nothing in there. It was painful and annoying.

I tried to reason with him. I tried spoiling the belly. I tried pressing on other parts of the belly in order to attract him (hoping that he would follow the pressure points like he was following the waist band of those pants that were too tight the other day). I tried pressing right on him to get him to move. That was the worst idea of all, as he responded to force with REPEATED blows to the bladder.

Alas, we had our first fight over my body. And he won.

By the end of the day I was lying sideways on the couch hoping that gravity would do for me what I could not do for myself. It worked temporarily. He slide right back into place on my bladder as soon as I stood up. ugh. What good is having 0 buoyancy if you don't use it?