Can't Concentrate

It's been a busy day. I stopped by a colleague's house to pick up some work since she didn't have a car today. I had a meeting I was late for as a result. I had a lunch date that I had to make. I've been working like mad all day for this crazy client who just changed his mind on the course of our project after accepting several deliverables. It's a tough day.

DJ doesn't give a hoot. He's rolling around on the belly like it ain't no thang but a chicken wing. He mooned my colleague this morning, sticking his butt out on one side of my stomach like he used to do with his head back when he was hanging out in a more breech position. Now I get butt and feet protrusions. Then he shifts in a way that I can't tell if he's spinning on his head like a break-dancer or just moving his feet in circles like he's riding a bike. Or he's giving me a foot work "Wax on, wax off." I'm not really sure any more. All I know is that he's been going on pretty frequently since lunch and it's starting to make me dizzy. I knew this would happen. I knew he'd get big enough to undulate in a way that would rock the whole boat. That doesn't make it any easier to deal with, it just makes it a little more amusing.

I'm half enjoying all the fun he's having, and half wishing I could get more work done. boy, I could use a nap.

Seriously Late Night

DJ and I were up late last night. I was tired early but I decided to watch TV for a while before crashing, and then a really good movie I'd never seen uncensored came on so I just had to watch it. While I was watching, DJ entertained himself plenty. He poked at me, wiggled his feet, shifted to create a large lump off to one side of the belly and generally danced. It was good times. The only problem was when I got to bed around 2:30 am, he was still rather perky and bounced around a bit before settling down. I suppose watching a thriller and getting my blood all up and moving didn't help him out.

I've been getting opposing side pokes for a while, usually a few pokes down low accompanied by pokes up high that are kitty-corner to the bottom ones. Occasionally, I've gotten them on opposing sides of the belly that make it feel like he's poking straight across. I haven't figured out how he does that. Well, last night I got two pokes simultaneously on either side of the belly. It was high enough that I thought it might be feet but I have no idea what it could have been. Very strange feelings.

Additionally, I've gotten some foot stretching. I'm lucky though... he seems to keep his feet to the front so they aren't getting stuck under my ribs and killing my kidneys.

Later today we are finally going shopping for furniture. I think now that the room is painted and empty, B really feels like he can think about these things reasonably and not feel like it's too soon. We're not planning on a crib, at first. Mostly a bassinet and a bouncer. We'll just have to see how it goes I suppose.

Rolling over

We really needed a new mattress. Thankfully, for my body, we got one. I'm still getting some pain but it's not nearly as bad as before, and I can last longer on one side or the other. But that's just me. I'm not sure the DJ likes all the moving around at night. If I stand up and use the bathroom before I flip over, it seems to be fine. But last night I had a mid-night flip over that I did without standing up. Apparently he was in a rather bad position for me to move from my right side to my left. I lay down and curled up around my pillow and I could tell DJ was not quite right. I was going to try to cramp my hand under the belly to give him a soft nudge when I got all four appendages going at the same time. The boy rolled himself over. At least that's what it felt like. Poke, poke poke, wiggle, poke, wiggle, flop. It wasn't in four quadrants, the feet felt together and the hands felt together, but the speed of the poking leads me to think that all of the appendages were involved. It was rather startling in the middle of the night. He seemed to settle right down and go back to sleep though. Which is good. Because that means that I could go back to sleep as well. There were some early morning wiggles, but generally he slept the rest of the night. Yay!

Trouble with food

Ok, so I know I'm supposed to be watching what I eat but I'm really hungry a lot of the time. I really feel like, wow, I need to eat. I'm not craving anything, still. I never have. Well, no more than usual. And the cravings feel normal. "Oh I feel like chocolate for this snack" or "Maybe something salty" and regularly, "Ooooh! Toast!" These are all normal feelings for me.

I try to fulfill my need to eat without eating total junk food, and without going overboard at lunch or dinner. That's pretty hard. And now, I've got another problem. My space is really shrinking. The uterus and DJ are really pushing up against my stomach now. I feel like I run out of space much sooner than I used to. Stuff that used to fit no problem now leaving me feeling over stuffed and sleepy, particularly at lunch time. I don't get it. Maybe it's my chair at work compresses everything upward. It's getting problematic. I want to save up for the good stuff at lunch, but then I can't fit the good stuff I saved up for. Bummer. I guess just have to spread it out more.

Wow, it's getting cramped in here

Uh oh. I had an edamame overdose. We were at Pei Wei and B had to fight me for the edamame, and then I finished my dinner to boot. B looked at me and said that DJ was going to have a growth spurt. Normally when I eat like that and don't realize that I'm hungry, that's what it means. Either I'm back sliding or we have serious growth spurt happening. By the end of the week I've had a couple more "oh wow, I didn't realize I was that hungry" episodes and now it feels REALLY crowded in here. The second night after I felt like DJ was suddenly very uncomfortable. Every movement was a little painful. It's not a sharp pain but more of a rather serious discomfort. It's like he was trying to find a new way to lie in there, and I got lumps in new and odd places. Most of the moment was slow and lengthy rather than the quick taps I've been getting.

He feels bigger now. He seems to extent the length of my stomach for some time now, at least from crown to sternum. Now, I can't every feel the head, but it seems like I get the shoulders down at the bottom of the belly. I get a long, heavy and thick mass that feels like a back or a side through the side of my stomach on a regular basis, particularly when I'm lying on one side or the other. Apparently, I get a butt or a thigh sticking out of the top of the belly on a regular basis two. Once, during the week, I got two feet poking me one after the other, as if he were wiggling them. I could almost see the indian style sitting position in my mind, with his butt just under the top of my tummy.

Generally, he seems much meatier, much denser. I don't feel fluid movements the way I used to. The movements aren't lethargic either. They just seem heavier, like it takes more energy and force for him to move, partly because he is heavier and partly because there's not as much space.

I am also starting to feel hiccups. I thought I wasn't feeling them before because he wasn't getting them. I think that he wasn't big enough for me to feel them before. Now, he's taking up so much space that the little jiggles reverberate around the belly and I can tell. Sometimes it lasts for several minutes. I try to stroke the belly, because I feel so bad for him. I hate the hiccups. They give me acid indigestion. And there's nothing I can do for him to help with it. The movement is still very slight though. I still get way more belly reverb/standing wave action from a good boot to the side. And that's still his favorite place to poke me - along the sides of the belly.

I feel like I'm huge as well. My mom is starting to worry that I've gained too much weight. The non-familial consensus is that it's all in the belly and they don't know what she's flipping out about. Braden agrees with the peanut gallery. I'm trying to watch what I eat as much as I can but, it's really starting to get difficult. I'll just have to keep an eye on it.

Jumping Jacks

Well, DJ is up early again. Which is how I got this cluster of blogs done. I've been meaning to write up a lot of things and now at the crack of dawn I've finally found the time. I've been uncomfortable all night, feeling like my insides are being jostled just a little too much during my mid-sleep potty breaks. Then, even as B was finally coming to bed, DJ was waking up and starting to dance. It's amazing how well he dances now that he's running out of space. But I've got movement and poking in 2 to 3 quadrants of the belly. I still haven't figured out how he manages it or what the heck I'm feeling? What's a foot? What's a hand? What's an elbow? I don't know. I just know that it's all over the place and too distracting for me to sleep. At to that my incessant leg cramps and I just decided to come down and blog instead of sleep for a few. Hopefully I'll get back up there soon and nap for another hour so I can be a little productive today at work. Here's hoping.

One more neat thing he did last night was undulate. I was sitting down at the home improvement store because I've been contracting a bit and trying not to tire out my business. So I was leaning back and tapping on the belly and DJ started poking me back and rolling around. The neatest part about it was that I could see the appendage sail it's way across the skin of my belly through my dress, like Jaws in the water. Most people would think this is a STRANGE thing to watch but I thought it was brilliant. Remember the hand through plastic video effect I was talking about? Well, I think that's pretty cool, even if it would give most people the creeps.

I tried to call B over to see but DJ stopped moving when Daddy came. I don't get it. He always quiets down when daddy comes and fondles the belly. I wish I could share more of this movement with B.

Yeah, I'm excited

I get asked about the baby a lot now. It's really nice. I love sharing about the baby. I just met a friend who hadn't seen me in the better part of a year for lunch and we chatted about it a lot. It was really interesting to hear myself talk about the feelings I've been having lately.

1) I really thought I'd loose myself in this. Either I have and I didn't notice or I've just naturally extended my personality to include "mom." Maybe it wasn't that hard of a stretch as I thought it would be. Having people ask about the baby doesn't bother me. Flowing in and out of talking about him doesn't bother me. I don't feel as if I, as a person, don't get enough attention and that everything is centered on baby. Yet. I thought it would be immediate. I thought that having a baby would somehow eradicate everything I was. It hasn't at all. I still feel like me. I just have this cool, little person inside of me. It's weird to think of it that way, but that's just kind of how it is.

During lunch we wandered in and out of mommy talk and weaved it in with talk about Uncle Evil (he's not really the baby's uncle, but my mom has crowned him as such. Since he's my new big brother and taking my place in her will ;-) we'll just go with that.), talk about work, talk about technologies and what's appropriate to upgrade your skills with. It was a totally adult conversation. Why wouldn't I want to talk about the baby too? I'm so excited about this addition to my life, to my family.

2) That leads very nicely into a later conversation with a stranger. He asked when I was due, and I gave him the July 8th date the doctors have tried to convince me is my due date. We'll see when DJ wants to come. Anyway, then he asked what I'm having and I responded, "Oh, a boy." Insert big smile here. He asked if my husband was excited to have a boy too, and I said he would have been happy either way. The man seemed surprised, and then mildly lost as he entered the garage.

B and I are both excited to have a boy, but we would have been excited either way. I was secretly hoping for a girl, thinking I would relate to a little girl better. I knew somehow intrinsic that I was having a boy instead. I just kept thinking, I want a girl so Karma will give me a boy instead. So I wasn't at all surprised when they told us he was a boy in the first sonogram. I was a little surprised at his size but not that. It didn't take much getting used to because I'd had the feeling for a while. And really, I was just thrilled that everything was going so smoothly and he looked so healthy.

Now that I've been running around with him for months, I can really say I'm totally excited about it. It has less to do with a gender distinction and more to do with his personality, or what glimpses I have of it at this point. I'm having fun with him. I feel like we have good times. He tickles me and plays with me from the inside. I talk to him and he interacts with me. I like the way it feels when he pokes (most of the time) and it's really neat to feel him grow. That's what I'm excited about. I can't wait to meet him when he's no longer a direct part of me. I might miss having him on the inside, but then I'll get him on the outside for the rest of our lives. I think he's just going to be the neatest thing since sliced bread. I feel like the three of us are going to have great times together, and when we make him some siblings, that's going to be great fun too. For me, the baby's sex is irrelevant. It's just about B, DJ and me.

Growth Spurt

Oh boy. I'm pretty sure we had another growth spurt. And my we, I mean DJ. Well, the first few times this happened, I would get hungry but not realize I was really hungry until I had gorged a bit on something. One time it was edamame and the belly and baby both seemed to jump in size dramatically. Well, the belly hasn't really grown much. I seem to have reached a plateau with subtle upward growth and rounding being the primary features.

Well, this weekend I was at a pan asian restaurant and B had to fight me over the edamame plate. And it was a BIG plate of edamame. He noticed it and mentioned that I rarely go after the edamame like that. When the food came, we both thought I would only get halfway through it, being full up on soy beans. Nope. I cleaned off the shrimp and a decent portion of rice to boot. B said then that the baby was going to have a growth spurt.

So I've been trying to get extra sleep all week and I haven't been succeeding. So I've been tired as hell. Terribly unfortunate. Then today, I noticed it. DJ was UNCOMFORTABLE. He was moving in ways he'd never moved before, and most of them were rather annoying if not down right painful. He'd poke hard and I'd be completely distracted. I tried to rub the belly to get him to stop but whatever he did it just felt horrible. It's the first time he's really bothered me with movements. Thankfully things seem to have settled down now and he's untangled his limbs. But we had a rough day up to that point.

Not a morning baby!! Yikes!

I may need to change my theory about how DJ is behaving. He seems to like to get up first thing in the morning. Well, not even first thing, just BEFORE first thing. 5:30 or 6am and he's poking me again! And this is after I've already shut the windows to the birds. Either the boy's got incredible hearing in there (so I didn't blow out his ears in Miami with all the clubbing) or he just likes the morning.

So I was happily sleeping, dreaming about talking to someone's dad about our escapades and how I used to tell my parents everywhere I went (HA! that's a big fat fib!). I'm not pregnant in this dream until I start getting a FLURRY of blows to the belly from the inside. Unperturbed I look down and pet the tummy and there it is again. Slowly, but surely, I wake up. I would say this flurry continued on and off for a good 10 to fifteen minutes. I'm sure I got a hundred movements in that time. It was crazy. Thankfully, he wasn't kicking that hard. He seemed to just be having fun. I figure it was feet because it always seemed to me that babies get their foot coordination before their hand coordination. That's my impression anyway. The ends seemed small and hand like, but I can't imagine him punching in such a coordinated manner. It was almost as if he were kicking to swim, as opposed to the baby standing dance (you know, when you put them on your lap and hold them up a bit and the legs go up and down like they are dancing?).

Funny thing is, I went back to sleep for a little while longer and when I woke up again he was quiet. He's been quiet until just now when I sat down to write this. And now he's poking at me again. It's a gentle prodding kind of feeling, and occasionally it feels like he's stroking me on the inside or something. We're hungry so I'd better go and feed us soon!

The Running Man

Well, with the birds and all, I think that DJ has gotten used to unreasonably early attention. Today there was a different dance. It felt as though he was doing a bicycle with his feet. If he were on the dance floor, it could also be considered the running man. Funny that. I don't remember playing any MC Hammer for the baby yet. I might need to do that now. But really, how can one avoid hearing "Can't Touch This" during the course of any given year.

It was certainly an interesting sensation. I'm still getting used to some of the crazy movements he's doing, particularly when I'm trying to sleep.